He Changed Me

It’s amazing how people change others. How someone changed someone else. Anyone can change, weather they want to change themselves or let others change them. But one thing that matters in this point is that you need to know your boundaries. Don’t let others change you too much. They actually don’t have the rights to change who you are, so you need to know your control and use them. Be and own who you are. It’s okay to let others bring difference for you, but you have to maximize. If they turned you to someone who’s not you, what’s the point? Remember, you are who you are.

That’s what I thought when I realized that he changed me.

His name is Suga, a lazy, quiet, calm, and just plain scary member from a South Korean boyband named BTS. His image is not something that you want to tell people about. My first impression of him is he’s not a boyfriend material, even I’m too scared to tell my parents about him.

He may seem to look like that, but I know deep down, he’s a sweet, caring, and playful person. I’m not hoping but everyone has their own soft side. Maybe he’s soft side could be shown by how he gives affection to others, especially his band members. Maybe, he’s not that bad after all. Some times, I like to think that his well-known attitude is just an act. I like to think positive. I know he’s actually sweet.

How about me? Well, my closest people like to say that I’m the complete opposite of Suga. Maybe nice, caring, and kind describes me? Yeah, I guess so. It’s so good to be nice, you know. I also like to act funny even though it doesn’t work for my friends, but I just enjoy life. It’s okay if others don’t laugh on your jokes. What’s important is that you’re happy, as long as you know the boundaries. Between my friends and my family, I’m in charge of being the sunshine. I have to be happy and make other people happy. If I thought about it, it’s a quite difficult task. You feel like you have to be happy 24 hours and make sure everyone is okay. I have to hold all my tempers and bad thoughts that come up on my mind. I have not to let others know that I’m not happy. Despite the endless challenges, where your emotions are put on the test, you just have to smile. It’s tiring some times. One thing everyone should know, I’m not that good and I’ll never always be like that… cause I also have my own bad side.

Since I have that ‘the school sweetheart’ image, I’m too scared to change myself even just a little bit. I never dare to turn myself to someone who’s stern, because I’m always used to being soft. One day, after I knew BTS for a month, I started to follow the way Suga acts. Which means, I copy his laziness, cold expression, being sleepy, and hot temper… and it has gone too far. My friends notice this, especially my best friend that I love so much. He noticed that I’ve changed and was eager to talk about it with me. He felt uncomfortable and choose to stay away from me. But it hurts, since I’m really close with him… I even like him. I almost lost my best friend because of the changes that I made. I finally solve things out with him and he understood, so we’re okay now. After that, I should have been more afraid to change again, but instead, I’m not afraid to be someone different and better now. It’s funny though, I’m more open up and I can say what I want without holding it for myself anymore. I learnt a lot.

I realized that I don’t need to change anything that’s good from me, but I do need to change the bad things. Everyone may change one day, and it’s okay. As long as we know the boundaries and make considerations, a change wouldn’t be a bad option. Some times, we just have to think about others when we want to change, and even ourselves. Note this, all the choices and changes that we made will be our own responsibilities and consequences. I have received the consequences from this matter and at the same time received a message, be myself. We don’t need to follow or copy others just because you like them and think that it’s a must. People already appreciate us for who we are and we don’t have to be too much about everything. I also feel grateful to know Suga and experience this kind of thing. I become more confident and feel free ever since. There’s one thing I learn from Suga, that is speak my mind. He’s really helping, so I’m very thankful. Turns out, change is not always a bad thing.

How about you? What or who changes you?

#be yourself

-Karissa Aisha-